Living with cancer Part 2

Every day brings new and even more despicable side effects and suffering to a cancer patient, even one who is going to survive the disease.  For the squeamish reader I suggestion a gut check because the next few paragraphs are about to get graphic and real.  Last night or rather early this morning I had to urinate.  I woke from sleep with the painful urge to urinate and tried and tried.  As I strained to urinate only a drop or two would actually be voided.  The pain was crippling, brutal and scary.  Not being able to void was an experience I would never wish on anyone.  No matter what I did the flow would not begin.  The urges came at frequent intervals about every five minutes and drove me to take a bath, a shower anything to help the pee start to flow.  After hours of urges the pain grew even more intense.  The dripping continued, a few drops here and few there.  From 3 a.m. untol 6:30 a.m. I suffered horrible pains as I tried to pee without any relief or success.  Not being able to pee is something no one should ever experience and taught me not to be such a wise ass about cancer.
I never thought I'd ever have such a deflating expierence.  It was humiliating, frightening and most educational.  At 6:30 I called the urologist's and my doctor was on-call.  I explained my symptoms and tried to focus on the doctor's responses.  I couldn't.  When he said that I should come into the office I gladly agreed.  I'd spent hours defying my own acknowledgement that something dreadful was happening and that I should call 911for an ambulance to take me to the hospital.  The doctor's suggestion was hope, finally something was going to be done to put me out of my misery.

My wife and I got in the car at 7:30 or so and had only gone a quarter mile when I said that we should go home.  Again the false urgings of a full bladder had nearly taken me to my knees.  I went in the house in a crawl and again attempted to get the flow going.  Nothing doing.  After gaining my composure and putting a cup down my pants we headed to the doctor's office again.  On the way I had several urges but no results.  The long plastic cup in my sweat pants merely collected the dribble that would following each painful urge to pee.

Once at the doctor's I scooted upstairs and was nearly bent over when I got into the office.  As soon as I checked with the receptionist, I asked to be allowed to use the rest room.  No relief just unsucessful urges to pee.  As I exited the bathroom a nurse got my attention and took into an observation room. She was going to scan my bladder to see if it were full.  It was!  Before she could scan me I had the urges and dribbled on the table and floor.  I was in too much pain to be embarassed.  Finally the blaader was scoped out and surprise it was full.
Next the nurse had to insert a catheter to allow me to urinate.  This was very painful but at lasr the catheter was in and fluid began to stream out.  I must have passed almost a half gallon of water.  As the water flowed out a wave of relief spread over me.  Then that tube was changed and a traveling tube inserted.  Ah the relief.  One minute I thought I was dying, the next hope, ease, relief.  The nurse commented that I was pale as a ghost when I entered the room and that after the draining and a cather, the color had come back.

I discussed the problem with the urologist who said I might need to have a surgery that would open the bladder and uretha meeting point.
I also learned my prostate was swollen and that was the cause of my discomfort and inability to pee,  He gave me a sample of a medication meant to shrink my prostate.  So far so good.  The pain is gone, the catheter is doing what I can't and I am tired.  Exhausting and frightenng to be in such a fix.  If the reader has not experiecned this, then the reader will not know the franic feelings it  caused.  Would I ever pee.. would I ever come back home?  What the heck had done this to me.  Dear reader thank you for your indulgence.  No more graphics until I can finally rid my body of other waste because besde being bound up in front I am also tight as a drum on the back side.
As yesterday's post intimated, trying to have a bowel movement with a catheter attached is no picnic.  Now to address that with a smile and hope things will work out.

Yes, this was a vary scary and painful experience.  Not one I'd wish on anybody.. Certainly not one I'd ever want to have again.  But you never know.  Yesterday I was a bit too cocky about how powerful and scary cancer can become.  I'll not be that way again. I am humbled and frightened that this might happen again.  Wish me well.