Living with cancer and catheters part 3

I'd begun thise entry earlier on my IPad but lost it when I accidentally touched the screen.  The first attempt began with a rather gross description of a reecnt experiences with catheters.  Five days ago I had a biopsy and re-sectioning of my bladder.  I awoke with a catheter in my uretha.  The catheter was in until two days later when my wife pulled it out.  Well she didn't pull it, she gently released it. No problems or so I thought.  Later than night I awoke with an urge to void.  Nothing new for a man my age.  But,  I couldn't pee.. It just wouldn't flow.  I was in agony, a full bladder and I was unable to relieve the urge.  I tried a bath, a shower, running water.. all of which usually cause the bladder to give release its contents.  Nothing worked and as the night went on, the pain and the urges got worse.  Every five minutes or so I'd have a spasm and then attempt to pass the water.  Drops might fly out but no stream.  It was agony and I was sure I'd be in the Emergency Room by dawn.  But I fought through the pain; it must have been the vicoden that helped me.  Finally I called the urological centers for the on-call doctor, who just happened to by the doctor who had performed my procedure.  He told me to meet him at the office.  Of course I couldn't get there soon enough.

Once at the doctor's office a nurse took me to an observation room and put a catheter in an drained me.  Drained its the right word here because the bladder was top full.  It yielded almost a half gallon of urine.  The relief was tremendous and immediate.  My coloring had gone white as a sheet and even as I was being drained the color came back.  As the nurse inserted the catheter I recited the poem Invictus.. which I have memorized for those occasions when pain will be overwhelming.  It works.  The new catheter was inserted and I was sent home and told to keep the cateter in until Monday, four days away.  So here I am with my second catheter in a week and feeling almost normal.  Normal to a person wearing a catheter has little meaning.  Things are improving.. thanks not only to the catheter but also vicoden.
Add to this miseryfest a pulled back and you, dear reader, may only imagine the state I am in presently.

As much as I am looking forward to getting the catheter out I am also worried that history will repeat itself.  What if, what it, what if.  But I will survive this.  My urologist has also given me a medication which will shrink my prostate.  The prostate is swollen or enlarged and that is choking off the flow from bladder to uretha.  The doctor also mentioned a follow-up surgery called the roto-rooter.  I've heard about that and what I've heard isn't pretty.  Even the name of the surgery is disgusting. If the medication shrinks the prostate I'll be happy but then again, what if?  So I go on and on with worry and dread.  There is literally a cloud hanging over my head.

If you've never had a catheter in then try to avoid it.  I never thought I would welcome the relief that a catheter can offer.  Now I am afraid I will not be able to go on without one.  But I do intend to try.  Once a person experiences not being able to pee, one learns that catheters are a blessing.  Until then, the catheter is a loathsome device.  The inability to pee took me to my knees and made me welcome the catheter.. cancer teaches a person many things most of which I would prefer not to know: How to shower with a catheter in.  How to have a BM with a catheter in.  How to sit down slowly so as to prevent jerking the catheter and causing pain of a new sort.  As I said, if you have never had a catheter in try to keep it that way and should you need one, be grateful that such a device is available,  loathsome as it may sound.  Until my next post, be well my friends.