Whoopa Muthafuckas

The Greeks are back.. whoopa!  So what's the deal why the cussin and fussin because the Greeks are back.. Of course Bob Costas is always everywhere there is a sport being played, commenting in his commerically generated voice.. smooth Bob... How the Hell did he get the greatets sports gigs in all of television?  Yes, he's good looking (hey most Greek men are, take it from me), yes his voice is soooo sooothing and his diction flawless.  He seems like an eternal Greek God sent from Mt. Olympus or from the first Olympics as a representative of the Olympian Gods.  Costas may even be the son of an immortal.  Well, that is if the Greeks had  a broadcast news God.  Another fixture George Stamos is every middle American house wife's dreamy cup of yogurt,, Truth is Greek yogurt sucks, actually sick ass sucks. It's bitter but bit does marvels for the digestive tract. I suggest Jamie lee Curtis try some of the real stuff with a shot of ouzo to wash it down. She'll be spurtin in no time.  Legend has it that in olden days Greeks lived to be 200 years old by simply living on grapes and yogurt.. with some ouzo and retsina to liven up gatherings.  But tonight, yes tonight on CNN at 11 o'clock George Strombolopoulos made his debut with an interview with Bill Marher (sp?). I'm skipping George Stephanopoulos, sorry George.. there's a new George on TV. Back to the new guy.. again we had to important talent. Don't we produce anything anymore?
Nice start for an upstart Canadian Helene but the Greeks are back.  Troy has been conquered and the Greeks are back.  Yikes and wow and whoopa.  I'm betting the two words of Greek that all Americans know are ouzo and feta, a few may add kalamata.
The Greeks as most ethnic groups go underground and resurface every decade or so.. from Jimmie the Greek. who wasn't a Greek to Helen Pappas and the one and only Spiro Agnew, Greeks have been rising like the phoenix every so often.  Oh yeah amd whoopa... the Greek dance/battle cry. Most Americans have heard the word.. but what does it mean to them.  Well to me it signifies an ancient cry of joy and celebration.  Meet a Greek, he'll tell you he's a Greek, Meet a Greek woman, she'll offer to cook you stuffed grape leaves, then try to convert you to Greek Orthodoxy.. the one, the true, the only perpetural Christian sect.
 And what a day to announce that the Greeks are back but the first day of summer, the longest day of the year!  Look out we may actually have a Greek president some day.. you know we almost did. I'm not alking about Michael Dukakis in 1990 and his infamous tank shot where his head was lost in his helmet.  The Greek who might have been president was Spiro Agnew.. Remember him, former Maryland governor and vice president to Richard Nixon. He (Agnew) whose head had to fall before Nixon could be ousted. Alas my fellow compatriots.. our best shot was Paul Tsongas who to our mutual loss, died of cancer.  We've been close but the Africans got there first.. that's ok.. The Africans also got to the islands and intermingled with the islanders (not always with mutual consent but such is war and conquest).  Yes, fans and fannies.. the Greeks were a fair haired, blued eyed race with varying shades of blonde, and even red hair. Today's Greeks may be dark or fair, tall or short.  But always they will tell you they are Greeks and every so often the Greeks come out from behind the counters of the restaurants and announce their presence.  Of course, the Greek restaurant monopoly (  Greek word combo) has suffered at the hands of the franchise fastfood mania.  But this I'll guarantee you.. go to any major or even minor city on the East Coast of the US and you'll find a Greek dinner.  Shucks, I've found them in Sassaktoon, Saskechewan and Wiinepeg in Canada.  Greek philosophy, find a way to make a living, work like hell, send you kids to college to be doctors, sell the restaurant and the property you left in the Old Country and settle in for a nice relaxing retirement in your gaudily appointed house.  No ethnic group, not even the Phillipinoes have more crucifixes in their homes.  Find a Greek and you'll hear the words the Old Coountry, spoken in hushed and reverent tones as if the Old Country weren't just a pile of rocks with soil that has been farmed to uselessness.
Before I close.. who of my readers ( those 2-3 faithful) has not seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding?  Kanenas!  Oops, that's Greek for no one of us.  We're here, we pay taxes, our kids do well in school, we fight for our adopted country.. we dance and drink and try against all odds to keep the Greek traditions and language alive.  Whoopa.. and good night to my wonderful cousin who has asked me to come out of hiding and start my writing again.  I'm back and thank goodness for my English to Greek Ap on my IPad..
Oops.. I forgot to give credit to the title.. it was coined by Jeffrey Eugenides in his novel Middlesex.. I sorta shifted a few vowels to make it more Baltimorese.  Thanks Jeffrey!
To conclude I leave you with the advice of Zorba.. the Greek, of course.  His advice was to live every day as if it were your last while living everyday as though you were never going to die?  Whooopa.. or in English, just whoop it up mother-fucker.  Enough for tonight.
kali knicta sas